Samarkand + Bukhara :(Uzbek 2:)

The Great 2006 Tour De Stans concluded by us riding the Golden Road into Samarkand.

Stans (stans)

the stans dont really change a man.

Mongrelstan (Tajik)

Despite the ravages of a recent civil war Tajikistan has maintained filthy, dusty and rugged roads. This angry descent was pretty exciting.

Ferocious border guards

The border guards are ferocious.

Osbekiston (Parusski)

Chto eta spasipo herasure, dosvidanya. Zdrastvuyte, piva nyet. Skol ko sto it da. Khleb ris gastinistsa durga. At kuda? Derallieur/germania.
Parusski yakshi rahkmat.
No problem.
Da.

Ferghana Valley (Uzbek 1)

The notorious Ferghana valley is a hotbed of terrorism, water melons and Islamic fundamentalist bike mechanics. With both back wheels dysfunctional we sought the help of Uzbeks most holy man, who solved our problems fed us and led us safely back to the hotel through the dark and dangerous streets of Kokand.

Don Juan de Pannier

Don Juan you are such a beautiful pannier.

Ulan River (Kyrgz)

The descent from 4000m proved spectacular.

However the road quickly dissapeared and soon my bike was replaced with a horse.

Karakol (Kyrgyz)

4 days, 430kms and we have reached the Kyrgyz mountain village of Karakol. We have dropped a touch behind schedule due to a busted rim and some dyslexic navigation.

After some long days in the sun we are having a quick breather to prepare for our assault on the 3700 metre Barkson Pass.

Although tough, the last week has been full of friendly faces and spectacular and varied mountain scenery. Unfortunately only bad food to accompany it.

The Kazaks told us the Kyrgyz are all terrorists and murderers, we have asked around and haven't found any of either.

Almaty (Kazak)

It is impossible for Kazak to be any more different from expectations - no landmines and very few apples but loads of sparkling new buildings, fashionable people, BMWs and Porches..the city seems to be dripping in money. At the camping shop we considered buying either a 8 wheel drive fun buggy, a new zodiac wave runner, some scuba gear or a semi automatic weapon but settled on gas for our stove. We have to cycle today which is a shame.

Istanbul

Istanbul has been an enjoyable two day stop off on the way to Kazak. The Turks cook some fantastic dıshes includıng lambs intenstines and mussels stuffed wıth bacteria from the Bosphorus. Apart from these the food ıs fantastic, the pubs and coffee shops relaxıng and we have made many frıends wıth the shady rug dealers. The hospitality shown to us has meant we risk losiıng our hard edge. Tonight we fly to Almaty a town known for Apples and Land mines.

The Final Stan-d

Tomorrow's the big day and apart from the fear of a mythical beast dominating the lavatory at our farewell everything is going according to plan. Riots in Uzbekistan are down 35% this month and the yurts in Kyrgystan are serving some of the tastiest fermented mares milk in years. If we can get past the bribe loving border guards in kazakhstan it should all be plain sailing (if by plain sailing you mean 'agonisingly painful climbs over ridiculously steep gradients with wind and rain for support'). In an attempt to acclimatise to stan conditions we have switched to eating only horse flesh and downing a bottle of petrov vodka on the hour.

Mutton

Having received a large number of emails enquiring as to how many people are in the tour group I realised I forgot to mention that only two of us will be travelling to the Stans. My comrade for the Stans tour is Mutton , the world renowned snow boarder famous for his flying camel toe move. He is pictured here preparing for Torino earlier this year . With only 24 hours until we fly out it is time to finalise plans over some deep fried cheese and a dozen cheap Czech beers.